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I am.

Valerie
Zhss, NYJC, SMU
sammificated
De Parti.

muchthanks.
Designer Basecodes
AdobePhotoshop

Archives:
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Slow down.



Lets slow down
and start going backwards.





Tuesday, December 14, 2010!
HandWritten on; 8:33 AM

I hate to part with you but I have to.

I've moved on to ransomletter.wordpress.com. Not because I wanna be hip and cool, not because I dont like blogspot, but because blogspot is chasing me out. I have to upload photos when I blog, but not allowing me to do so, its like paralysing me.

So ya, wont be deleting this space of mine though. Its a space in the virtual world which I (kinda) own.

Its quite sad actually. 5 years leh. See my archives and all my foolish nonsense then. ARGH. Blogspot how could you do this to your loyal writer.

Monday, December 13, 2010!
HandWritten on; 11:36 PM

WTF??!? I tried uploading photos here and this is what I get:


There were errors during upload.
The following images were not uploaded.
IMG_1093.JPG : You have exceeded your total photo upload quota.How can I get more storage for my images?Images and photos that are uploaded through Blogger get stored in your Picasa Web Albums, which are part of your Google Account. The number of images you can upload is therefore dependent on the amount of space you are using on Picasa Web Albums. To find out how much space you have available, please see these instructions. Note: If you have recently upgraded your quota limit, you may have to login to your PWA account, in order for the new storage quota to be reflected on Blogger.
We're sorry, but you have exceeded your photo upload quota. For more information, check out this Blogger help page.

GEEZ, WHAT NOW?

!
HandWritten on; 10:09 PM





:) Escapade to Sydney.

!
HandWritten on; 7:56 PM

Something more important than anything in the world.

Samuel is going to FUCKING Thailand for 20 days in March. D:
I've sunk into depression again. Falling in and out of depression is unhealthy. OCS should stop doing such stunts. Sigh. It will be during my stressful exams period again. I really hate OCS.

Fucking hate.

!
HandWritten on; 10:10 AM

HELLO SINGAPORE I AM BACK!

So lets see, Sydney. Honestly I think theres nothing special about Sydney, its just like Singapore. I can roam around the streets by myself and not feel anything. Its like when we reached Sydney, it didnt feel like we were overseas, felt just like Singapore. I guess thats what lacking in this trip- that WOW factor.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed taking a break from Singapore and just being overseas. Playing everyday, have everything planned, and the only thing I need to worry about is what to wear. I seriously cannot understand the weather there. It can be MEGA HOT, but when the wind blows, it can be like really coooling and at night, it can become quite cold.

Okay not blogging for real today, feeling a little under the weather. Having your period and taking a plane is hardcore. Its like having cramps and taking a roller coaster, with yucky food. And you cannot drink the apple/orange juice. Best of all, my tv didnt work.

Ohoh and I got this major ulcer on my lip cause I was too excited to eat my cheekan rice on the 1st day, which ended up not very nice. So ya, the tiny bite grew into an ulcer. Spoilt my mood quite abit, cannot smile, cannot eat properly. Ya its horrible.

Jean, we need to meet before I go to Genting. Msg me!! We are drifting apart already. HAHAHAHHAH! Come and let me touch ur knee!

Sab, I wanted either Jane or Ann to win too! HAHAH! And I saw the dome durian chocolate thing. Bring me go eat soon leh!

Dear, See you tomorrow. ;) Thanks for being so sweeeet to me, taking to me every night before I sleep, especially the 1st night in the haunted hotel. HAH! Love youuuuuuu.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010!
HandWritten on; 3:56 AM

Hello cyber space, I feel great reluctance to leave you. Somehow I feel like when I leave the internet and its wireless connection with the world, I feel lonelier. See what social media has created- this 'real' sense of reliance to be in constant connection with the world.

Now, even with my phone, I am not being connected enough. Argh. Whats worse, my internet has been down the whole day so I need to borrow half an hour from my sister's mobile broadband to use the net.

But yes, I will enjoy my holidays. 5 days at Sydney, 5 days of new adventure and experiences. Time to open my eyes to the world out there and time to take more photos again! :) Which reminds me, Samuel owes me a photo. Ha.

Ning and GS, please have fun at YCC. Remember the line.
Tom, please have fun too. Smile more. HHAHAH!

Jean. Please study and not keep emoing. Just abit more!!!

Dear. LOVE YOU! :)

I've no idea who else reads my blog but yaa, Gosh I will be missing out alot! And everytime I miss going to a YCC, I can only go 6 months later. 6 mths is a long time so its almost like never. Sigh, I imagine the cheering, the encouragement, the sweat, the laughter, the uncontrollable smiles. AH. I want to be there tooooo!! I want to look at everyone and get that feeling everytime I volunteer. That sense of achievement that I made someone else happy. The feeling of knowing my presense on earth counts. My mum will never understand that. But its okay, it takes time to convince her that money isnt everything, personal development and management skills are very important for us to grow too.

If power is what she is looking for: Sometimes, the ability to give back to society gives you a greater sense of power than money/status does.

If its satisfaction: Yes material goods bring about happiness, but loving someone else makes me satisfied too.

I will convince her one day.

As of now, BYEBYE virtual world. I will be back in 5 days. Which is damn fast.

Monday, December 06, 2010!
HandWritten on; 4:32 AM

I realised I dont have alot of time left in this short month's holiday! GEEZ.

Sydney in 2 days time, and boom 5 days will be gone.

And when I'm back in Singapore, Toy Story 3C evaluation probably take 2 days. Then my plans with Sabrina (still cannot say what, just in case) will take up another 2 days. And Boom, I will be on my way to Genting with Samuel already.

When I'm back, breathe for like 5 days and I will be heading to KuKup. Rest for a day, and I will be off for chalet. And then its christmas and the new year.

AND...

SCHOOL BEGINS. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG. AHHHH.

I really need to learn to live in the moment and not keep counting down all my life. Theres something about me and counting down. I keep counting the days, I dont know counting to what, I dont know whats the final point, probably death or something really big. Whats big enough to be considered a goal in my life?

Saturday, December 04, 2010!
HandWritten on; 6:40 AM

LOVE. HAHAH! Sabrina, dont salivate.

I watched Rapunzel today (WITH SAMUEL, HAHHA! He says its a nice show too!) and oh mannn, it was the bestest cartoon movie EVER. Rapunzel is sooooo pretty. And the 'prince' is damn special cause hes a thief and hes not the usual prince charming type. He is now a prince cause he married the princess, and his nice white horse is also not exactly his. Rapunzel has such beautiful long golden hair. Damn chio, and shes super pretty. Ahh, I can gush about this all day. HAHAH. Not a crime to love disney movies.

Dinner with my family at Astons and I just had to order oysters. Wah, 3 per person really isnt satisfying enough. Its like an appetizer for me to crave for more. Zzzz.

Friday, December 03, 2010!
HandWritten on; 7:28 AM

Memories.

This blog post will be all my super random thoughts so Eileen, please do not analyse everything k. :p

Indeed, stepping out of my comfort zone brought me to an absolute new level. I've learnt and actually love myself even more after this camp. I think I deserve the biggest pat on my back for managing my emotions and temper. I didnt even say a vulgarity. The only time I was close was when we were out during heavy rain and we realised we didnt close the sleeping area windows. And I told Eileen "I have some bad news, so bad I might say a vulgarity." HAHH! But yes, I really think my tolerance level has reached a new high and I'm damn awesome.

Qn: Did the camp reach my expectations?

Ans a: In the big picture, YES OF COURSE. The kids learnt their 3Cs, learnt to coexist, became friends with the facils, bonded as a team. The facils had fun, learnt how to manage such unique characters of the many kids, they were like mentors. Logs had a hell lot of 'fun'. Yes, it exceeded my expectations. To be honest, despite saying I trust my committee, I had my doubts about them. Their skills/experience level is not really there yet. But one thing that made them super great was their willingness and their determination. Their attitude changed everything. As long as you think you can do it, you can.

Ans b: I learnt alot, I explored new capabilities, but sometimes I feel that all these is made possible at the expense of my happiness level. Its a personal choice to cut down the happiness for the smooth flowing of operations. I dont know if it is real or if it is just my perception of how I handled things this time round. Utilitarianism, greatest happiness for the greatest number so I pressed on despite the dulan-ish in me.

I am a person who likes to be liked. And that was why I didnt feel too happy at camp. No matter how much I would like to say it didnt affect me, I'm sure it did la. I just didnt let it affect me so much that I cannot continue my role.

And I really envy the facils! I wanna be so close to the kids tooooooo!! At first when the kids came, all in my mind was "holy shit, they are here, what must I do, whats next, what will make them happy..." so much that I forgot to look closely at them. It was only on the 2nd day, I started having more time to just wander. I realised how innocent and how adorable they actually are. Some can be super naughty but I still observed the naive side of them. No matter how naughty they were, they had this other soft side. Super cute. Especially since they are P4-P6ish, they behave in a very unique way. And they dont smile showing their teeth. Ha.

Just now after the kids left, I felt this sudden void. My ears felt faulty, like "where did all the noise go?" I miss the laughter, the shouting, the cheering, the complaining, the quarrelling and all the other noises the kids make. HAHA. I tell you, the list will go on, everything can trigger them to make alot of noise. I miss playing with the kids, then being firm to them as well.

And I must say, I laughed so much at campfire. I was the emcee but sometimes I just cannot control myself and still laugh sooo badly I couldnt speak. HAHA. The kids were cute until...... I dont know how to describe. Their performance was super duper funny. HAHHAHA. The way they behave through their instincts were super funny.

The way they call me "Barbie" is super funny also. HAHAHA. And I heard from Justin that everyone cheered super loudly when 1 group found Buzz. I was touched until my goosebumps all appear. Even though they say things like "the story is not true laa. Toy story is not true.." but at the end of the day, they can immerse soooo much into the story that they behave instinctually.

I am glad I had this opportunity. :) OKAY KNOCK OUT. BUAY TAHAN ALR.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010!
HandWritten on; 7:25 AM

Oh before I leave the internet for the next 3 days.

Dear was very sweet today. :) LOVE.

!
HandWritten on; 7:08 AM




I finally know how to play monopoly deal. :DD And it was fun!! Gosh, I'm actually itching to play again. And I'm good at it lor, I won 2 out of our 3 matches. Heh.
Sabrina, Carissa, KP and I met up for dinner yesterday to celebrate Car's very early birthday. And the present that Sab and I bought was damnn nice. I really loveeee it too. Leather + rusty gold key = LOVE.
My whole mind is on camp tml, so I cant blog properly.